Hi B, When is the right time to let go of our adult children? Sometimes we worry and are anxious about them and forget that we've done all we can and have to leave them to God. Time for myself is so scarce and there is a balance between helping out and trying to protect my own health and well-being at the same time. My prayer is that I can let them go and let God....!
Dear Marcia Thank you so much for your letter. l must apologise for not responding sooner, but we have had some teething difficulties but thank God we are now up and running. In response to your letter, l believe to some degree we never let go because as you rightly said, we always have to keep on praying for our children no matter what age they are. But in terms of always being there for them 24/7 l believe we must let them go in order for them to learn for themselves and also teach their own children and others. It is not wrong to say 'NO' (NO is not a dirty word, if they ask you to baby sit and you cannot do it, (if you have something planned, or you are just tired and want to stay home to relax or even sleep do not feel guilty). Now is your time to enjoy yourself with you, God, your husband and friends, there is nothing wrong with that. Plan to have your children around a particular time each week and if you have grandchildren have them if possible once a week, but don't allow them to play the guilt trip on you. We have just entered the 7th month of the year, you need to make some very positive steps find things you want to do for yourself e.g. book a manicure and pedicure, go out for day out in London on a special bus ride, go to a nice but different restaurant, enrol on a course you want to do and go away for a long weekend. Find things occupy yourself, you are saying you don't have the finances, but if your children were to ask for something you would find it! Learn to appreciate you for a change, stop thinking about everyone else and start thinking about you. Just go into your secret place for your children and give them to God every day pray for the right people in their lives, ask God to remove the negative people. Speak those things you want to see, when you start to do this God will begin to cause them to be independent from you, but be dependent on Him (God). It is time to loose the umbilical cord without any guilt. A word of warning if you have girls! Fathers tend to never let go of their girls, but just pray for him so he will come to that place of letting go and realise it is now time for the two of you to be together just as it was at the very beginning before the children arrived. It is now time to take a complete over view of your relationship. I hope this has helped in some way if l can be any more please do not hesitate to contact me again, AskBno responses